For Your Entertainment: Stupid Poetry

I recently unearthed some poetry I wrote last year. Some of it’s lovely and pretty sounding but most of it is silly and completely un-serious, particularly the pieces that were written under the influence of something-or-other. Here are the silly one; have at it.

Uses for a Dead Leaf

Little leafy, brown and crinkly

Crunching underfoot

When I throw you in my fires

You spew out smoke and soot

Your cousins look and laugh at you

Alive up in their trees

You wallow on the forest floor

Your only visitors the fleas

But when a little animal

Want to make a nice, warm bed

You make a perfect pillow

On which it can rest its head.

Queen Lima

Once in a tiny kingdom green

There lived a jumping Lima bean

And she declared herself the queen

Of that little kingdom by the sea.

She bounced around and gave a shout

When no one there would hear her out

But she knew just what she was about

And asked them if they wanted tea.

The people, kindly citizens all

Found they couldn’t just resist the call

At Lima’s house they had a ball

And she rubbed her hands with glee.

She knew she has them in her palm

She called a meeting, keeping calm

As she dropped her biggest bomb

And announced her sovereignty.

Great Queen Lima reigned for years

And kept her subjects filled with beer

To everyone she’d lend an ear

And she made the state tax free.

Ode to Craig

Shall I compare thee to a friendly bear?

Carnivorous diet is the power

Behind empty growls and thy downy hair;

You make mere humans scurry and cower.

You could rip tall buildings from foundations

Feats of strength could be your one vocation

Though snores ring loud during hibernation

Your chuckles convey your true elation

True reality brings your rosy cheeks

Your cherubic face and your twink’ling eyes

And your charming smile from which pure joy leaks

Draw forth and inspire many girlish sighs

So heed not the growls of this friendly bear

Despite how cluttered and rumpled his lair.